In Loving Memory

Very nice, I am sure all will come into perspective,

"Life is a balance of holding on and letting go"

I lost all my grandparents that I was close to by the time I turned 20. My dad struggled with Parkinson's for the last 10 years of his life, although he had it longer than that. It got rough the last couple of years, and he passed on Feb 9th 2011. Mom's health wasn't good either, as she had open heart surgery in 1995, and had severe rheumatoid arthritis. She couldn't drive well at the time of dad's death, but by 2013 she gave it up entirely. We took her everywhere, all doctor's appts, all grocery and med runs. Eventually we just made the runs for her, and she rarely left the house. She kept getting worse, until in Feb 2016 she went into the hospital. She was either there or at rehab trying to get better to come home until she passed on May 1st 2016. I miss them both, but only how they were before their health failed. I wouldn't want either of them back if they had to deal with the suffering they were going thru.

I only tell you this so that you know where I'm coming from when I say this.... I know your pain. Death, while part of life, is difficult at best when it's someone you are really close to. Even though the pain is real, I tend to look at it as that I'm thankful for having been that close to someone in the first place. Many people are not like that, and haven't been close to anyone in their entire lives.

Quote from Guardian_Angel

This thread wont be a popular one... but I know I'm not the only one..

You're not!
My list is too long, and for a minute, every morning when I unlock the door at the shop, I say "Good Morning" to the the greatest man I've ever known, who is only a spirit now.

I truly understand your pain, and unfortunately, it only gets a little better with time. You just have to get through "the time".
Good luck to you and your family brother. Terry and I will send positive thoughts your way!

Lost my mother in 2009.

Dad was decimated, but endured and persevered the best he could.

Got a call Tuesday, Dec 13th, 2016 that he was found on the floor of his house. They estimate he passed sometime Monday night Dec 12th. He went out the way he wanted to, in his home that he had shared with my mom, seemingly peacefully and quickly.

My parents entrusted me to be their Trustee and Executor. It has been an immense amount of work but an honor.

When I arrived at their house last Wednesday night, it looked like their house, stuff was where it had been for years, things they had accumulated and displayed in cases, a separate out building that held cars, wood working tools, tractors, mowers, etc.

This past Friday, we closed on their house. Saturday we had an all day auction of their belongings, vehicles, equipment, collectibles, etc.

By noon yesterday / Sunday, the house was completely empty and all of their possessions had been sold off and taken away.

Saturday was very tough on my brothers and I as we watched what they cherished be dispersed piece by piece. Sunday morning, your heart and soul were as empty as the house.

The weekend was filled with many "last times". The worst of which was pulling away from the driveway yesterday for the absolute last time, knowing we would never be back to the house and mom and dad would not be waiving good by from the porch.

It had to be done, all that is left are the many pictures and memories of the Thanksgiving gathering and summer visits at the grandparents place.

A passing of an era, a new beginning. And we take it one day at a time.

@Guardian_Angel I don't think there is a magic pill to make the hurt go away. We all have to deal with it in our own way and in our own time frame. My dad passed away some time back. For me it has switched from pain and heartache to great memories and wonderful thoughts. Now when I see something that reminds me of him I usually find myself smiling or laughing. Those are the gifts he will always give you. He is never truly gone.
With that my wife and I are dealing with similar issues. Tina's father passed away last month and her mother is not doing well at this time either. Blood clots in her lungs and the inability to take blood thinners means, like you, the show could drop at anytime. Add to that my mother's declining health and you just start to wonder why. Just remember the good Lord gives you what he feels you can handle. Have faith and all will be well. Always keep moving forward and understand it is all for a reason. It may not be clear at this time but is there for a reason.

To all... Seems we all have similar stories. I was very close to my Dad when we found out in 2010 he had colon cancer that had spread. He and I kicked around for a year before he passed. A few days before he died, he and I were talking, he said he thought his time was near. He even predicted two weeks (was actually 3 days). My Dad was an Episcopal priest, I asked him if he was scared and he said if he was he would be a hypocrite. Makes me smile every time I think of that. Faith gives us the ability to accept death knowing that it's not the last time we will be with them. My mother passed away a year later and I miss them everyday. I love it though when I hear something or a smell that reminds me of them. Makes me smile. Enjoy everyday on this earth and make it special for the ones closest to you. God Bless

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Quote from Guardian_Angel

If I had known- the last hug- the last conversation - the last kiss on the forehead- I would have held on longer, and made certain there were no unspoken words.

He knows, you have to believe, you have to trust. For me, it's not going,... it's what I'm leaving behind. To know everyone is safe.

Quote from Shatneyman

For me, it's not going,... it's what I'm leaving behind. To know everyone is safe.

That's why it's imperative to fight, and exhaust all means to
STAY HERE!! Leaving, should never be an option for mortals, it is to be decided by a greater being Dean.
Twenty years ago come this April 27th, my brother Eddie took the bad elective. If he knew what he was leaving behind, he never would have left. Because what he left behind, was a fuckin' mess!!

While many have moved on, condolences to all!

I dread if/when I post here for the intended reason... But like everything... There's always an end.

@Guardian_Angel I'm so sorry to hear of such loss (and the rapid succession by which it reached your doorsteps).

It's with deepest sympathy that I say the following:
When you speak of your dad, try not to speak of him trough tears (I know it can be hard right now... but he sounded like a great man and any thoughts of him should not be sad). I've personally found peace in my life, by letting only memories of good times shared, be the one's which give me the most comfort ~> it may make it easier for you as well? Just remember, his life was rich because of you ~> and all that deep love for him becomes part of your life forever!

*I'm really not all that good with this topic as I only have about a handful of family left... I feel your pain and grieve by your side.

Thinking of you,
-Erica

Very well said @ericastar76. @Guardian_Angel celebrate the lives of the ones that have passed. Remember all the good. I can tell you that I still have sad thoughts about my parents passing (15 years ago) especially around holidays but will remember the funny and happy times that we had and that puts a smile on my face.

Yeah, so, I just got pretty well blindsided. Dad passed almost 3 years ago now. Cancer. Turns out, you don't smoke for 50 years and get away scot-free. So, yeah...today's his birthday. And it got me. I had forgotten, until I got on FB this evening, which I never do, and saw my sister's post. The first year after his passing, I used to get schwacked all the time. Hear a song, see something random that would remind me of him, hear his voice in my head - BAM! I'm crying. The second year...I had a better handle on it. Still, sometimes when I would sing a song to my kids, or I'd do something and hear his voice, it would catch me. I've been better this year. Only a couple landmines. But goddamn if it didn't catch me tonight. I'm not sure if I'm more pissed I had forgotten, or pissed that I got ambushed by my own effin' memories and emotions. I texted my brother, to make sure he remembered, and said something like....well, hell, here you go.

So, that's my evening. Miss that old man.

1996. My first leave home in the Navy. He'd been on the force for about 8 years, 47 years old. He was so ridiculously proud of this picture, it hurts to remember.

1980ish

My sister's wedding in Maine, fall of 2013. He was feeling and looking good, nice recovery from his radiation treatment. Right before he started his last downward trend, the one he couldn't beat.

@KayTwo, he will never be gone,.. because he is part of you, thanks for sharing. Stay safe

My dad taught me to wrench and my mom taught me how to cook. I think of them every time I cook or work in the shop. It's been years and I still miss them. Enjoy the family you have as long as you can.

I had one of those days, too, when I saw the date. My mother passed away 39 years ago today at the age of 54. They are always with us. @KayTwo hugs!

I lost my father in 2000 to a heart attack, and lost my mother 9 years ago to CJD. CJD is a cruel disease. Time doesn't heal, it just makes it easier..

I just saw this yesterday and I think it's awesome.