Some Funny Comics I recently received in emails
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I love retirement: why put off until tomorrow what I can put off until the day after tomorrow...
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It's funny that since I retired I get far less done than when I was working. I still have boxes I haven't unpacked from my 2009 move!
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I can relate to that pic, I'm not retired, but I'm a member of the procrastination club
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(Look at fine print at bottom of sign...)
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I was riding at night in an unfamiliar area back when I was on 2 wheels when I suddenly realized the "road" I was on was heading into a lake! Turns out I should've turned right instead of left, but I was fortunately able to stop in time.
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It's funny that since I retired I get far less done than when I was working. I still have boxes I haven't unpacked from my 2009 move!
I feel your pain!
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This popped up on Facebook today, who says social media isn't informative.
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^^^^^
What?! No man bun?!
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What?! No man bun?!
you got man bum.....
he’s a baldini....nothing to put into a bun....bum....whatever... -
I recently tried to have my Colonoscopy virtually, but the Doctor didn't buy it!
These aren't comics or videos, but they're funny and true!
When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison.
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To me, "drink responsibly" means don't spill it.
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Age 60 might be the new 40, but 9:00 pm is the new midnight.
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It's the start of a brand new day, and I'm off like a herd of turtles.
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The older I get, the earlier it gets late.
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When I say, "The other day," I could be referring to any time between yesterday and 15 years ago.
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I remember being able to get up without making sound effects.
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I had my patience tested. I'm negative.
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Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as a Tupperware lid that doesn't fit any of your containers.
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If you're sitting in public and a stranger takes the seat next to you, just stare straight ahead and say, "Did you bring the money?"
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When you ask me what I am doing today, and I say "nothing," it does not mean I am free. It means I am doing nothing.
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I finally got eight hours of sleep. It took me three days, but whatever.
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I run like the winded.
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I hate when a couple argues in public, and I missed the beginning and don't know whose side I'm on.
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When someone asks what I did over the weekend, I squint and ask, "Why, what did you hear?"
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When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like a goat chewing on an aluminum can stuffed with celery?
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I don't mean to interrupt people. I just randomly remember things and get really excited.
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When I ask for directions, please don't use words like "east."
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Don't bother walking a mile in my shoes. That would be boring. Spend 30 seconds in my head. That'll freak you right out.
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Sometimes, someone unexpected comes into your life out of nowhere, makes your heart race, and changes you forever. We call those people cops.
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My luck is like a bald guy who just won a comb.
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If 2020 was a drink, what would it be?
Colonoscopy prep
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If 2020 was a drink, what would it be?
Colonoscopy prep
Thank God nobody uses that prep as a mixer for cocktails!
Wrote this yesterday, but forgot to post it!
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Thank God nobody uses that prep as a mixer for cocktails!
Wrote this yesterday, but forgot to post it!
That would be asinine!
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That would be asinine!
Uh, which would be asinine? using Colonoscopy prep as a mixer for cocktails, or my forgetting to actually hit the Reply button?
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