Some Funny Comics I recently received in emails

  • No pics, just Little Harold jokes -

     

      A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, 'Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!' After a few seconds, Little Harold stood up. The teacher said, 'Do you think you're stupid, Harold?' 'No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!'

     

      Harold watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. 'Why do you do that, mommy?' he asked. 'To make myself beautiful,' said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. 'What's the matter, asked Harold 'Giving up?'

     

    The math teacher saw that Harold wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, 'Harold! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?' Harold quickly replied, 'NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!'

     

    Harold's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. 'Yes,' said the policeman. 'The detectives want very badly to capture him. Harold asked, “Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture ? "

     

      Little Harold attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from
    horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Harold asked, 'Dad, why are you doing that?' His father replied, 'Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy. Harold, looking worried, said, 'Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom ..'

    Edited once, last by BKL ().

  • I would BUT

    I have an appointment with my cardiologist tomorrow.

    =O=O=O=O

    Been there and done that. My first triple bypass lasted 15 years and a day, I was told the average was 14 years. Now I am on 6 years into my second triple bypass. In 2015 when I bought the Slingshot I was just recovering from the cardiologist trying to kill me with the mismanagement of medication. If I had not changed hospital systems after 2 years of this I would not be here today. Let me see if I can spell this medicine, amadidrone this stuff will kill you slowly. Let me put it this way, (DO NOT TRUST YOUR DOCTOR) if you think something is wrong, it probably is. Even with good doctors the HOSPITAL SYSTEM dictates the treatment. If so you change the DOCTOR and the HOSPITAL SYSTEM. No one told me this, I though the doctor was always right.

  • My Wife had her first heart attack at 50 and had a second scare 1 year later. She had her 67th birthday today, but has been dealing with shortness of breath and low energy. She had CT scan that cleared her as far as the Big C is concerned and had an Xray today so we're now waiting on word from her cardiologist.

  • My Wife had her first heart attack at 50 and had a second scare 1 year later. She had her 67th birthday today, but has been dealing with shortness of breath and low energy. She had CT scan that cleared her as far as the Big C is concerned and had an Xray today so we're now waiting on word from her cardiologist.

    My prayers & sympathy for you and your wife.

    I had my big "cardiac adventure" at 52. Three cardiac surgeries, retired from high school teaching and left California for a less stressful teaching job in Arkansas.

    Eight years in, I still struggle with this and hide little aches and pains from the Captain. More than anything else, I regret that she has lived in fear of my life for so many years.

    Be strong for your bride. Never forget to express your confidence in her. Smile often, kiss often, and hold her as much as you can. Remind her how proud you are for everything she has done to protect her health and how resilient she has been in spite of all the poking and proding of her doctors.

    I've learned these things from my dear Captain. I hope they will be of some value to you.

    The smarter you get, the funnier I am.

  • Her symptoms started this time at about the same time she usually experiences allergies, so she attributed what she was experiencing to allergies before finally agreeing to go get some tests. She had also seen her cardiologist earlier this year and was told she's doing fine.

    She's put up with me for almost 47 years of marriage come this December and I often remind her of our meeting and initial dating. I also remind her she has to outlive me since I'm too old to have to go looking for a new GF! I was engaged to someone else and broke the engagement the day I met my future wife. Still smitten.

  • Update on my Wife's situation - She had a catheter inserted Monday. Original stent in good shape. Found a blockage on the "widower maker" main heart artery, but determined it was only 50-60% blocked and didn't warrant a stent at this time since it needs to be over 70% blocked to cause problems. I'd think it would make more sense to go ahead and place a stent since they found a blockage rather than wait and repeat the procedure when she may not be in as good health. It now looks like she may have a severe case of gastric reflux causing impairment of her airways and she''l have a telemedicine session with a specialist next week. She's now going thru a ton of antacids in addition to her omeprazole acid reducer, but it looks like gastric reflux is the last thing left that might be causing her problems.


    On a lighter note, here's some new funnies -

    thumbnail?appId=YMailNorrin&downloadWhenThumbnailFails=true&pid=5

    thumbnail?appId=YMailNorrin&downloadWhenThumbnailFails=true&pid=14

    thumbnail?appId=YMailNorrin&downloadWhenThumbnailFails=true&pid=13

    thumbnail?appId=YMailNorrin&downloadWhenThumbnailFails=true&pid=9

    thumbnail?appId=YMailNorrin&downloadWhenThumbnailFails=true&pid=10

    thumbnail?appId=YMailNorrin&downloadWhenThumbnailFails=true&pid=2

    thumbnail?appId=YMailNorrin&downloadWhenThumbnailFails=true&pid=12

    thumbnail?appId=YMailNorrin&downloadWhenThumbnailFails=true&pid=7

    thumbnail?appId=YMailNorrin&downloadWhenThumbnailFails=true&pid=8

    thumbnail?appId=YMailNorrin&downloadWhenThumbnailFails=true&pid=4

    thumbnail?appId=YMailNorrin&downloadWhenThumbnailFails=true&pid=3

    Deleted some bad links. - BKL

    Edited once, last by BKL ().