Some Funny Comics I recently received in emails
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Warning: language & hard to watch due to severe alcohol abuse… -
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Warning: language & hard to watch due to severe alcohol abuse…they are not invited to my house, Im against hurting people but there is an exemption to the rule
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they are not invited to my house, Im against hurting people but there is an exemption to the rule
Bro - I know that was hard for you to watch…
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tomorrow will be a better day -
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so which one is more dangerous? -
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More from my Funnies Pusher!
I can't shop at Costco anymore :
Yesterday I was at Costco buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Necco, the Wonder Dog, who weighs 191 lbs.
I was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had an elephant?
So because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I woke up in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is just load your jacket pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.
(I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me.
I told her no, I stopped to Pee on a Fire Hydrant and a car hit me,
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
Costco won't let me shop there anymore.
Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the World to think of crazy things to say.
Odd, maybe even interesting "facts" that might be true -
In the 1400's a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed To beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have 'the rule Of thumb'
Many years ago in Scotland , a new game was invented. It was ruled 'Gentlemen
Only...Ladies Forbidden'...and thus, the word GOLF entered the English language.
The first couple to Be shown in bed together on prime time TV was Fred and Wilma Flintstone.
Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.
Coca-Cola was originally green.
It is impossible to lick your elbow. (Unless your arm is severely broken, I guess!)
The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska
The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28%
The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%
The average number of people airborne over the U.S. In any given hour: 61,000
(this is significantly less since Covid-19)
Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair..
The first novel ever written on a typewriter - Tom Sawyer.
The San Francisco Cable Cars are the only mobile National Monuments.
Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:
Spades - King David Hearts - Charlemagne
Clubs -Alexander the Great
Diamonds - Julius Caesar
111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987, 654,321
If a statue of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle.
If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died because of wounds received in battle.
If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.
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And more...
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And...
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