If you give me one stack a week, I will keep an eye on it and make sure nobody steals any. I think I could manage that for the next..445 weeks or so.
After that, I don't think you'll be able to afford my services anymore. Rest assured during that 8.5 year span nobody will touch my..uh..your money.
I would but you'd have to publicly say that the Eagles suck. I guess I'll be safe with those terms, huh?