Beware this time of year

Powerful stuff brother! You're on my list (to call) - thanks.

I know first hand what depression is capable of... I am a survivor.

Add me to your wagon list!

Quote from KayTwo

**TRIGGER WARNING** Suicide discussion to follow.

My apologies for such a heavy topic so early on a Tuesday. I saw this on one of my veteran's groups and thought it was too good not to share.

Not my writing, but I fully agree.

Take care of yourselves, and each other.

********************

It was about this time, nearly 8 years ago, that I walked in on a friend as he was attempting to kill himself.

For a solid min we just stared at each other. He broke the silence and said "dont try and stop me, Ive been thinking about this for a long time".

"I'm not going to", I replied.

He tilted his head, confused.

'See. No one cares!', he yelled, as tears started to pour down his face.

I still didnt know what words to say. I just stood there.

And then I remembered Kristie. She was a friend of mine that caught me in a similar situation.

I had to clear the lump in my throat and muster up my voice.

"Ok. I cant stop you, but can we just make sure things are done right?"

"What??? What are you talking about" he screams at me.

"Alright, just hang on a sec. We need to make sure some things are done" ... and somehow 3 hours passed.

You see in those 180 minutes, I got him to basically plan out his funeral, expenses, payments for apartment, list who gets what from his 'estate', and all the things that happen when someones dies.

He got mad at me, throwing the sheets of papers he angrily started cussing at me, telling me I was just stalling the inevitable.

All I could reply was "No, I just dont want your family suffering any more than they need to".

And right about then, he looked at the papers hed thrown and saw all the names he wrote.

Mom gets .... Uncle Alan gets.. Jared gets..Dad gets... Silva gets..Daman gets... my bank account goes to Aunt Lisa to pay my stuff off...Hope gets..Aunt Di gets....my dog goes to...the fish goes to....

And it hit him. All these people affected. All these people who were a part of his life.

And he cried. I stood there, hoping like hell he understood he wasnt alone.

I braced for whatever was about to happen as he picked up the papers and walked towards me.

He handed me the gun, walked passed me, and into the house.

Showing his family what he had written.

And everyone broke down.

They didnt know. He didnt know that they didnt see it. Noone knew anything.

But that day they learned. ...and he learned.

And right now I hope you've learned some things.

You arent alone.
Your death will affect much more than you realize.
You do matter.
Things can change and get better, you just have to let people know you need them.

This holiday season, if you find yourself feeling alone, I ask only one thing...... let someone know.
Dont know who?
I'm just a click away. I'll find you people to circle the wagons around you. I'll lead the charge to get you thru.

I made that promise to help to Kristie when she brought me back....and she made that promise to her friend who saved her....who had promised the lady who saved him.

The circle grows each time we reach out. Like a ripple.....

More people know..more people help..more people are here.

#CircleUp

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Really makes you think, thanks so much for sharing and I hope you don't mind if I copy and paste it to my Facebook.

@KayTwo, powerful stuff I have had to do the same thing twice. Once I was successful, once I wasn’t . Guess which one I think about. If you need any backup give me a call, I’m in.

Sent from my iPad using Polaris Slingshot Info

saying goodbye to an adult is easy,... saying goodbye to a child is impossible. Earlier today, someone gave me a like in an old thread. "Remember" I went back and read everything in it. I broke,... it hit me like a ton of bricks,... it finally made sense,...somewhat, it really isn't me. It's what I've seen and been through. I can't save the world. I can't be the white knight. There is evil out there and I can only respond to what I'm dealt with. 20 years of crap bottled up. Stuff I thought I was over and I moved on. Death and killings, adults and children, trying to understand why. Sorry,.. too much info. But it's a start. Tomorrow is going to be interesting.

@Shatneyman you know no matter what happens you have friends ends in Indiana and if you need us PLEASE don’t ever hesitate!!

Plus @Painterand I need you to paint our slings!!!

Quote from Shatneyman

I can't be the white knight.

Not true- To many of us- you are. I think back to the news video - Batman and the child............ Your constant displays of selflessness and generosity are overwhelming- You have touched way more peoples' lives than you can imagine. You have but to reach out- we are all here- we may lurk in the shadows, but we will darn sure step up if you need us!

How's today treating you @Shatneyman?

I've mentioned this previously here somewhere.

20 years ago last April 27th, I lost my brother Eddie. He was 4 years older than me, but always reached out to me when he needed help with anything. He once told me that he admired my confidence as a person, because he said he didn't have much. I always raised an eyebrow to that, only because he was so smart and gifted as a musician, song writer, poet, computer programmer,...... With his flowing auburn hair, and piercing blue eyes, he was a walking chick magnet. Not to mention, he was the funniest guy I ever knew, and could hold court with 50 people making everyone laugh hysterically at his antics and story telling!! He had a thousand friends. He was everything opposite of what you think about when the conversation turns to the topic of people that commit suicide, polar opposite. He never had a traumatic experience in his life. Not a veteran, or victim of any sorts. Most guys would be around Eddie, and nod to themselves and say "ya, I want to be THAT dude, he has it all!!"
And then he was gone.
All we can do is try and be aware, and work as hard as we can to divert someone heading in that direction. Be a great listener, not an authoritarian of direction.
If my brother reached out to me that day, I would have listened, and he'd be riding with me today in my Slingshot.
It still haunts me.

I was lucky (in a way) I never was in an armed conflict (in the military) but as a medic on a helicopter ( don't claim the title Dust Off Medic because I wasn't in an armed conflict) but had my fair share of traumatic runs that still bother me 27 or more years later. We ran both military and civilian runs (the majority of my runs were neonatal missions). I am not nor have I ever been suicidal but can understand how some may feel. I am open to helping whomever I can whenever I can. None of you know me from Adam but if you need a shoulder I have two and will do what I can. Thanks @KayTwo for making a touchy subject public.