Some Funny Comics I recently received in emails
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An elderly man accidentally rear-ended a Ferrari. The wealthy owner jumped out and confronted the old man telling him, "If you don't give me $10,000 right now, I am going to beat you to a bloody pulp!" "Hold on there", says the old man, "I don't have that kind of money but let me call my son. He trains dolphins". The old man calls his son and the Ferrari owner grabbed the phone and said, "So you train dolphins, eh? Well, your old man just hit and damaged my car and if you don't bring me $10,000 cash right now, I'm going to beat him to a bloody pulp!" "OK" says the son, "I can be there in 15 minutes". Exactly 15 minutes later a Humvee pulls up and 8 guys jump out and beat the Ferrari owner to a bloody pulp. Then the son walks over to his father and tells him, By the way Dad, I train Navy Seals, not dolphins".
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Over the weekend Santa asked me to work on his sleigh to make it go faster. So I installed a DDM supercharger kit and tune to the sleigh. So now Santa has to hold on for DEER life!!!
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If you have ever watched Full Metal Jacket, Boot Camp comes to the North Pole..... Caution... language (in case there are kids around)
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If you like Dolly Parton, you just have to watch this one
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Something about this pic really made me laugh...
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Meanwhile in the Rockies...
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12 days till Christmas... Got a laugh out of me so had to share....
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Something about this pic really made me laugh...
That would be helpful after one too many at the bar
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An elderly man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk. The Receptionist said, 'Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?' 'There's something wrong with my dick', he replied. The receptionist became irritated and said, 'You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that.' 'Why not, you asked me what was wrong and I told you' he said. The Receptionist replied; 'Now you've caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private.' The man replied, 'You shouldn't ask people questions in a roomful of strangers, if the answer could embarrass anyone.' The man walked out, waited several minutes, and then re-entered the room. The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, 'Yes?' 'There's something wrong with my ear,' he stated. The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice. 'And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?'
'I can't piss out of it,' he replied.
The waiting room erupted in laughter... -
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This morning my wife told me she had a dream that I bought her a 4 carat diamond ring for Christmas. Then she asks me "What do you think that means?"
So I responded by saying, "Just wait 12 days and you'll know"
I hope she isn't thinking that I'm going to actually BUY her a diamond ring. I just thought I would find her a book on DREAMS so she could figure it out herself