I got into a huge fight with my wife yesterday. I was sitting on the couch watching jerry Springer and she said I was lazy. She said that I NEVER finish anything. So I proved her wrong. Last night I finished off an apple pie, a half gallon of chocolate chip ice cream, and the remaining half bottle of Jim beam. I'm sure I'll find an open bag of chips and beef jerkey this morning before she gets up and sees how dedicated I am to finish EVERYTHING that I've started.
Some Funny Comics I recently received in emails
-
-
Funny...
-
-
Whoever said you can't have Kate and Edith too was WRONG
-
Just got my new stickers to let everyone know my level of commitment....
-
Just got my new stickers to let everyone know my level of commitment....
I got that one beat by miles. I had the runs for the first year and a half of my life, and sat through a whole day of a Netflix marathon of Schitt's Creek. And I'm sure I can still eat a whole box of Oreos in one sitting if i go easy on the ice cream chaser.
-
-
-
-
Kind of interesting... There are a couple of inaccuracies, but most are correct...
Have a history teacher explain this if they can.
Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.
Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.
Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost a child while living in the White House.
Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head.
Now it gets really weird.
Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln.
Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.
Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.
John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.
Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.
Now hang on to your seat.
Lincoln was shot at the theater named "Ford."
Kennedy was shot in a car called "Lincoln" made by "Ford."
Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.
And here's the "kicker":
A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland.
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.
AND...................:
Lincoln was shot in a theater and the assassin ran to a warehouse...
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and the assassin ran to a theater...
I saw this had to share just in case anyone did not know.
-
-
-
-
-
Just when you thought it couldn't get much worse, it looks like there's going to be a major increase in price as well as a shortage of bananas. Biden has blamed this on the possible outbreak of Monkey pox. 😆 😆 😆
-
Two lawyers arrive at a restaurant and ordered a couple of drinks. They then take sandwiches from their briefcases and began to eat. Seeing this, the angry waitress approaches them and says, 'Excuse me, but you cannot eat your own sandwiches in here!' The two look at each other, shrug and exchanged sandwiches.
Morel of the story - NEVER underestimate two lawyers especially if it comes to money
-
New tat!
-
-
-
From my Funnies Pusher -