Some Funny Comics I recently received in emails

    Got these in an email from a former co-worker -


    These are actual comments made by Georgia State Troopers that were taken off their car videos:

    1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through."

    2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."

    3. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

    4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

    5. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that will be chasing you."

    6. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

    7. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

    8. "Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

    9. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

    10. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."

    11. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

    12. "In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC." ( National Crime Information Center )

    13. "Just how big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"

    14. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

    15. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."

    AND THE WINNER IS....

    16. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."

    If these don't show up, let me know.

    You can just select the whole post and click on the little paint brush at the top of your post and change the color.



    These are actual comments made by Georgia State Troopers that were taken off their car videos:

    1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through."

    2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."

    3. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

    4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

    5. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that will be chasing you."

    6. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

    7. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

    8. "Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

    9. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

    10. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."

    11. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

    12. "In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC." ( National Crime Information Center )

    13. "Just how big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"

    14. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

    15. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."

    AND THE WINNER IS....

    16. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."

    When the going gets tough.... Downshift.

    Quote from billythekidd

    You can just select the whole post and click on the little paint brush at the top of your post and change the color.



    These are actual comments made by Georgia State Troopers...

    I used the Font Color tool to change the font color in my post because I've had other copy and paste posts look fine to me when I post them, but others have reported they couldn't see anything. That Lime Green just looked too good to not use it.:)

    Edited once, last by BKL ().

    Quote from billythekidd

    This isn't actually funny, but makes a point...



    Remember auto shop...


    Cleaning up wheel bearings with parts cleaner, hitting it with compressed air to get it up to max speed, then releasing it on that concrete floor...


    Sparks flying, hyper speed in under two seconds, people jumping and yelling, and the few unfortunate on creepers.


    And billythekidd said it wasn't funny.

    Slingshot Flyer! Well, of course it's red... :REDSS:

    I still make use of what little I remember from my Electronics Shop classes in High School. It helped me when I joined the Army in terms of providing a basic understanding of the type of equipment I worked against and provided a solid back ground for my Intelligence Analyst position after I got out of the Army.

    Too many school systems no longer offer the practical-oriented programs for which there is still great demand from employers and under-preparing students not on a college-oriented path.

    Mostly...


    The tech schools taught us more about what not to do, rather than what to do.


    Wood working... instructor was missing thumb and forefinger.


    Welding and sheet metal... instructor was missing half an ear.


    Auto mechanic... instructor was missing ring finger and pinky.


    And besides... tech classes took up three classes and lunch... which left you pursuing only required classes for graduation.


    Yep, showed up at welding and sheet metal class in Jesus sandals and bell bottom pants. Didn't even get the shop tour that day.


    Hey, it was my first day! He did however, remember my name.

    Slingshot Flyer! Well, of course it's red... :REDSS: