I pulled my new 2017 SLR Orange Madness into the Wendy’s parking lot and carefully backed it into a nice, shady parking spot easily visible from inside the restaurant – I wanted to keep an eye on it so that the local teens slinking around this area didn’t violate my new toy.
Inside the restaurant, I first went to use the restroom, then came out to find a line of about seven people waiting to order. “Well”, I thought to myself, “The single with cheese and a large cup of chili will make the wait worth it”. Little did I know at the time just how “worth it” this Wendy’s trip would be – sometimes comedic gold just falls into your lap like manna from heaven.
I got my food, poured my drink, put my ketchup into two of those little plastic cups, and then went to find a seat near one of the windows that overlook the parking lot.
“…got it about a week ago.” I heard the kid say as I approached the window area. “It’s got a Hayabusa engine in it – it’ll hit 200 mph no problem” He was a skinny teen maybe 19 or 20 years old. He was talking to a stunningly pretty girl of about the same age (but WAY out of his league) as they both stared out the window.
“What’s it called?” She asked.
“Slingshot”, he replied. “it’s made by Polaris and there are only like, 250 of them in the world.
I stopped cold. I didn’t actually say “WTF?!”, but I certainly thought it! What the hell was this kid talking about? Did he have a Sling modified with a Hayabusa engine sitting out there!? Why was he lying to her about there only being 250 Slings in the world? I looked out the window and expected to see this kid’s Slingshot sitting out there next to mine.
There was my Orange Madness sitting coolly in the shade, an empty parking spot on either side. No other Slings visible. That’s when it occurred to me what was going on: This slick little operator was trying to pick up on this girl by saying that MY Slingshot was his. The gall! The balls!! “How does he expect to pull this off” I wondered silently, “he doesn’t have the key. What’s he going to do when she wants to go for a ride or take a closer look”? I decided to hold my tongue for a while and found a seat close by where I could overhear what they were talking about (and still keep my Sling in view).
“You don’t even want to know,” the kid told her when the girl asked how much the Slingshot cost. “It hurt me to write that check” he said, “but if you want nice stuff, you have to be willing to do what you gotta do”. Judging from the look on the girl’s face, she was in awe of this cool, rich guy and his awesome machine. His plan seemed to be working flawlessly so far. I was curious to know how he would keep the scam going. Finally, after asking dozens of crazy questions about the Slingshot, and getting equally crazy answers, the girl got around to the one question she really wanted to ask all along: “Can we go for a ride”?
“That would be awesome” he told the girl, “you’re going to love it!”
I was in shock at the statement! Was this little snot going to try to steal the Sling? I watched closely as he got up and started to clean up his food wrappers. Then he hit her with his pivot: “Oh SHIT!” He said. “I don’t have a second helmet! I can’t take you for a ride if you don’t have a helmet to wear. MAN! This sucks!”
“Smooth”, I thought. The kid was smooth.
The girl was devastated and her face showed it. “Ohhhhhhhh!”, She whined. She grabbed his hand, batted her eyelashes and said in her best sexy-whisper voice “Just around the parking lot. It’ll be ok”.
He paused and seemed like he was really considering it, but then I suppose he remembered that what she wanted was simply not possible, and he snapped back to reality. “No, I really can’t” he regretfully told her. “I just got a $300.00 ticket for taking my brother in it with no helmet. I’d be in huge trouble if I got caught again. But don’t worry, I have a second helmet at home. Let me get your number and I’ll call you later. We’ll go for a ride then.”
“Really smooth” I thought, as she eagerly keyed her number into his phone. I didn’t know what excuse he was going to use later when he didn’t show up in the Slingshot, but he seemed practiced enough at this game that I had no doubt he would come up with something. That’s when it occurred to me that he was going to have to come up with a way to get out of the current situation. He was pretty much trapped in the Wendy’s because of his scam. If I walked out and drove off in the Slingshot, his game was up. If he didn’t walk out and drive off in it, his game was up. Hmmmmm…. I figured he would just try to wait her out, and let her leave first. Judging by the way she was looking at him and the Slingshot, I knew there was very little chance of that happening. This was going to be good.
Now, I don’t know what possessed me to do what I did next. It sort of just popped into my brain and I acted on it. I don’t know if it was a good thing or a bad thing to do, but I did it.
I cleaned up my table, emptied the tray contents into the trash, put my tray on top of the trash can, and I walked up to the table where the kid and the girl were sitting, still looking out at the Slingshot.
“Uuuhmmmm….. I said. The kid and the girl both turned to face me. They both looked confused by my appearance, but the kid had a flash of panic in his eyes. That panicked look told me right away that he knew what was up. He knew what was about to happen.
[Wait, wait.... This post is getting really long. Does anyone even want to read how this ended?]