Years ago I worked with my ex. We worked together at the same job for 5 years until our marriage fell apart. as that time she decided she didnt want to work at the same place so she left and I continued at the same job. About 3 month after my ex stopped working there my employer called me in and gave me a raise, more than doubled my pay. When I asked what the reason was I was told that they knew that I needed more to live on now that I was living alone and paying for everything without having my ex's income. Basically, even though it probably was not being done intentionally (maybe it was) when it came time to think about giving raises my ex and I were considered almost as if we were one employee - the boss knew that together we were being paid more than enough to make ends meet so others making less or without a working spouse in my employers perspective needed to be paid more.
I went, after this, and spoke to my father about it. For all of my life my father had run a huge corporation with huge experience in running a business - experience that spanned the time from long before the NOW women's movement until late 1990's I asked him about husbands and wifes that work together and how in his experience this affected pay. He laughed he said from a work and pay point of view the worst thing that ever happened to mens pay was when women demanded the right to work especially when that woman wanted to work at the same employer as their husband - - he said business managers / owners always considered them as a unit - and would pass over the husband for a raise or give them a smaller raise to offset what they were giving the wife -He said if the wife wanted to work she should never work at the same job and the husband should never talk about his wife's work at his work and never tell his employer how much his wife makes
Up until the day he died in January 2014 he firmly believed that a smart employer should always consider need when giving raises and he also believed an employee with a working spouse clearly didnt need to make as much as a single parent or person supporting a spouse their kids
personally I think this is still very true today. It doesn't matter if you are a man or a woman - do not work at the same place your spouse works (unless you run the place or own it) and never talk with your employer about how much your spouse makes - - your boss may not even intend to to do it, but if they know your spouse makes good money that will always be in the back of their mind when the time comes to consider if they should give you more - - they just cant help knowing you have another household source of income and it will affect their thinking
if you have to talk about your spouses work or income always down play it - never talk it up
My father said this was one of the biggest factors in why people doing the exact same job did not get the exact same pay - - when it came time to hand out raises what these employees spouses made was always a factor that was considered. Couldnt give everyone a raise, not enough money, but thats okay "Bob's wife makes good money so he doesnt really need one and we all know that Mary's husband runs a company so she doesn't need one either"
like they say - life isnt fair
