Conservative Politics & Daily Events Discussion

    Police work can beentertaining as well as dangerous.


    Recently, a female Sheriff'sDeputy arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22 year old white male, who was fornicatingwith a pumpkin in the middle of a field at night. The next day, at the GwinnettCounty (GA) courthouse, Lawrence was charged with lewd and lascivious behavior,public indecency and public intoxication. The suspect explained that he waspassing a pumpkin patch on his way home from a drinking session when he decidedto stop.


    'You know how a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one aroundfor miles, or at least I thought there was no one around,' he stated. Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked outa pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it andproceeded to satisfy his pressing need. 'Guess I was really into it,y'know?' he commented with evident embarrassment.


    In the process of doing thedeed, Lawrence failed to notice an approaching sheriff's car and was unaware ofhis audience until Deputy Brenda Taylor approached him. 'It was anunusual situation, that's for sure,' said Deputy Taylor. 'I walked up toLawrence and he's just humping away at this pumpkin.'


    Deputy Taylor went on todescribe what happened when she approached Lawrence ... 'I said excuse me sir,but do you realize that you're having sex with a pumpkin?’


    He froze and was clearly verysurprised that I was there, and then he looked me straight in the face andsaid, 'A pumpkin? Shit .. Is it midnight already?'”


    The court (and the judge)could not contain their laughter. Lawrence was found guilty only of publicintoxication, fined $10.00 and sent on his way.


    The Washington Post wrote anarticle describing this as "The best comeback line ever."

    Quote from Red

    With the current trend of banning plastic drinking straws I decided to order this semi-auto dispenser. I think I'll modify it to full semi-auto.

    Don't be surprised when a bunch of black SUVs come screeching up at your house and black helicopters are circling overhead.
    Remember, the leftists are all loving and inclusive.....as long as it's what they want or agree with,
    but cross them and they will jump up and down, stomp their feet and call you a racist, homophobic, islamophobic, yada yada yada.

    Well go ahead Nancy Pelosi !!! She referred to 9/11 tragedy yesterday as an “incident”. Pelosi - Ocasio-Cortez ticket for 2020 would be the left’s dream ticket.

    I might not be right but I can sure sound like it

    :00008172: so TRUE & such the Truth!! Can’t fix Stupid! Saw on a news feed how all the dems said things back when Obama was “Your” president & now what they say with “My” president Trump.... talk about flipping a 180!! Proves they Go / Flow with the BS & have no morals, change what they once believed in & said just to go Against Trump.. it’s insain!!!


    But behind closed doors they know he’s doing the right things :00008084::thumbsup:

    I Have No more toys, just memories.... :/

    Dear Senator Rubio,


    As a relocated Floridian and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.
    My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for a minimum of five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for only three of the last five years.


    I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out.Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2015 and 2016.


    Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save aver $12,000 a year.Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as well as "in-state" tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States for my son.
    Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums. This is very important to me, given that I still have college age children driving my car.     If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative.

    Thank you for your assistance
    Your Loyal Constituent, (hoping to reach "illegal alien" status rather than just a bonafide citizen of the USA )


    Phil (funinthesun)

    Nobody gets outta here ALIVE

    Quote from WOLF

    @BONES you must have glazed over the part about the SAD LITTLE RAIN DROPS.



    No Buddy I read clear as day....You can barely have an adult conversation with a lefty without it going sour, so that's how I interpret that-End of story....Nothing else to say on that


    I Have No more toys, just memories.... :/